Cancun and the Mayan Riviera – part two of five

How about some more super cool Cancun and Mayan Riviera action with our wonderful hosts, Tropical Incentives DMC (Destination Management Company)?

If you missed part one, head on over to Cancun and the Mayan Riviera – part one of five!


First on the agenda…breakfast and a site tour of our wonderful host property, Banyan Tree Mayakoba!

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I will destroy it all with my face.


Our waiter just asked if my hot chocolate was warm enough…would I like him to heat it up? No, but will you come home to live with me and ask me that daily, please?

‘Grandma’s Hot Chocolate’ is the bombski, BTW.

Get here immediately and drink at least a gallon.


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This boardroom has an entire wall filled with wine. How does any work ever get done in here, people??


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Even the corridors to the meeting space are all striking and majestic, dammit.


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Couples massage room – check. All massages begin with a 20 minute Thai foot washing ritual. I tried it. It was friggin’ outstanding.


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They’re taking us down to check out the Beach Club. In a boat. Dang.


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This is my new iguana boyfriend. I call him Eduardo. He likes to hang out on rocks and act like a bad ass.


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In case you were wondering…cruising lagoons through mangrove trees in a beautiful boat while your captain gives you a guided tour…it does not suck.


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Time to check out some killer suites that sit on the beach. I suppose this private pool will have to do.


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I found out after I tried to climb in and pop the champagne that this was only for display. Our salesperson/guide did not appreciate by particular appreciation of their fancy-pants romantical setup.

I decided that, at the very least, I deserved one of those chocolate covered strawberries for the mental trauma they inflicted on me by not flying Ryan Reynolds in to “appreciate” it with me.


Now, over to Barcelo Costa Cancun for a fun team building activity and lunch!


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That ocean was warm and delightful. And, a whole dollar came floating up to me while I was splashing around out there. Hot diggity doo!


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Say hello to my new girlfriend, Zelda. She’s stacked.



So, we did a goofy team building activity that culminated in us being surprised by a group of homeless children who attend a wonderful school near here. We gave them buckets of toys and they were unbelievably adorable and so sweet. The little girl I handed my toys to was at the back and she was being overlooked. She handed me this candy with an attached note card she made herself. Anyone who has EVER gotten a note or card from me knows that this exact happy face follows my name when I sign things. I thought that coincidence was kind of amazing. And, it made me blubber like an idiot.


Back to the resort for a little rest before another action-packed day…


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Man! The walk-in closet in my room is stocked with all the essentials! Bug spray…candle…matches…and a discrete, yet adorable, bag containing one ladybidness pad and a condom. If I’d also found emergency cake in there, I would have married that damn closet.


I hope you’re still enjoying the Cancun and the Mayan Riviera journey…please head on over to Cancun and the Mayan Riviera – part three of five!




4 thoughts on “Cancun and the Mayan Riviera – part two of five

  1. Yes, really enjoying your travelogue, and feel like I’m right there with you. . . minus the luxurious surroundings. . . kick ass meals. . . and well, all else! But still, fun to travel vicariously with you – keep on keepin’ us all entertained!

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