Randoms

It’s been a long week managing a corporate program (darn work messing up my blog posting time!), so we’ll be back to travel next week.

Until then, a few things that caught my attention…

random 34aI like this bag company’s style.

.

random 35I think every restaurant should ask this question.

.

random 53aHere’s hoping he’s a foot doctor, because otherwise…ewww.

.

random 52aWanna bet?

.

random 3aWallpaper in my hotel room – tree…or ladybidness? You decide.

.

Yep…this post has been tagged with the words “douchebag”, “wiener”, “toe dude” and “ladybidness”. The pride…it’s overwhelming!

.

Have an excellent weekend, y’all! 🙂

M.

.

Cancun and the Mayan Riviera – part three of five

More with the Cancun and the Mayan Riviera! 🙂

If you missed part two, head on over to Cancun and the Mayan Riviera – part two of five!

.

Today, we start with breakfast and a site visit at the lovely Fairmont Mayakoba

.

fairmont mayakoba 2Breakfast includes strawberry watermelon juice, Mexican hot chocolate and caramel bread pudding. Kids, sugar is bad…m’kay?
.

fairmont mayakoba 1

This place is awfully pretty.

And, it reminds me that I need to hire some rowboat dudes to clean my moat!

.

fairmont mayakoba 3Ahhh…this scene would be so much more complete with a frosty beverage and a cabana boy…

.

fairmont mayakoba 4Everyone needs a dock next to their pool…for boat launches and stuff.

.

fairmont mayakoba 7Ummm…this suite is two stories AND it has a hot tub on the roof with a view of the ocean. Who would possibly want that??

.

fairmont mayakoba 8Awww…this suite only has a private pool ON THE BEACH. Such suffering!

.

fairmont mayakoba 9This handsome hunk asked me out. I told him I’d think about it since he looked a little handsy.

.

Learnin’ me some important Spanish on this trip…”Mi gato es un puta barata.” Baahaahaa!

* New edit: thanks to one of my awesome readers bringing an oversight to my attention, this post has now been tagged with the words “puta barata”. Because we’re classy like that.

.

After a brief rest back at Banyan Tree, we’re off to a secret dinner location!

.

rio secreto 1Ooohhh…this trail looks promising and super friggin’ beautiful!

.

rio secreto 2A Mayan priest and an altar for blessing us before we enter a cave…this is getting interesting!

.

rio secreto 4Heading down candlelit steps…

.

rio secreto 6Ummm…whaaat??

.

rio secreto 18Holy underground, Batman! Welcome to the amazingly stunning Rio Secreto!

.

rio secreto 5Look! They provided me with dates!

Their names were Bob and Stan, I’m pretty sure.

.

rio secreto 14Yes…of course this happened.

.

rio secreto 19

ARE YOU FRIGGIN’ KIDDING ME?? This was our dinner location. The ridiculously awesome Tropical Incentives DMC hauled everything down there for us. Full bar, buffet dinner, flippin’ ginormous candelabras, colored lights everywhere, a band and a fricken’ Mexican Michael Buble to serenade us. It was beyond unbelievable!

.

After that once-in-a-lifetime dinner, I need to rest…

banyan tree 28…right after I drink all of these tequilas they left in my room.

.

I hope you’re still enjoying the Cancun and the Mayan Riviera journey…stay tuned for part four of five!

M.

.

Cancun and the Mayan Riviera – part two of five

How about some more super cool Cancun and Mayan Riviera action with our wonderful hosts, Tropical Incentives DMC (Destination Management Company)?

If you missed part one, head on over to Cancun and the Mayan Riviera – part one of five!

.

First on the agenda…breakfast and a site tour of our wonderful host property, Banyan Tree Mayakoba!

banyan tree 15

I will destroy it all with my face.

.

Our waiter just asked if my hot chocolate was warm enough…would I like him to heat it up? No, but will you come home to live with me and ask me that daily, please?

‘Grandma’s Hot Chocolate’ is the bombski, BTW.

Get here immediately and drink at least a gallon.

.

banyan tree 16

This boardroom has an entire wall filled with wine. How does any work ever get done in here, people??

.

banyan tree 17

Even the corridors to the meeting space are all striking and majestic, dammit.

.

banyan tree 18

Couples massage room – check. All massages begin with a 20 minute Thai foot washing ritual. I tried it. It was friggin’ outstanding.

.

banyan tree 19

They’re taking us down to check out the Beach Club. In a boat. Dang.

.

banyan tree 20

This is my new iguana boyfriend. I call him Eduardo. He likes to hang out on rocks and act like a bad ass.

.

banyan tree 21

In case you were wondering…cruising lagoons through mangrove trees in a beautiful boat while your captain gives you a guided tour…it does not suck.

.

banyan tree 23

Time to check out some killer suites that sit on the beach. I suppose this private pool will have to do.

.

banyan tree 26

I found out after I tried to climb in and pop the champagne that this was only for display. Our salesperson/guide did not appreciate by particular appreciation of their fancy-pants romantical setup.

I decided that, at the very least, I deserved one of those chocolate covered strawberries for the mental trauma they inflicted on me by not flying Ryan Reynolds in to “appreciate” it with me.

.

Now, over to Barcelo Costa Cancun for a fun team building activity and lunch!

.

barcelo 1

That ocean was warm and delightful. And, a whole dollar came floating up to me while I was splashing around out there. Hot diggity doo!

.

barcelo m

Say hello to my new girlfriend, Zelda. She’s stacked.

.

barcelo

So, we did a goofy team building activity that culminated in us being surprised by a group of homeless children who attend a wonderful school near here. We gave them buckets of toys and they were unbelievably adorable and so sweet. The little girl I handed my toys to was at the back and she was being overlooked. She handed me this candy with an attached note card she made herself. Anyone who has EVER gotten a note or card from me knows that this exact happy face follows my name when I sign things. I thought that coincidence was kind of amazing. And, it made me blubber like an idiot.

.

Back to the resort for a little rest before another action-packed day…

.

banyan tree 27

Man! The walk-in closet in my room is stocked with all the essentials! Bug spray…candle…matches…and a discrete, yet adorable, bag containing one ladybidness pad and a condom. If I’d also found emergency cake in there, I would have married that damn closet.

.

I hope you’re still enjoying the Cancun and the Mayan Riviera journey…please head on over to Cancun and the Mayan Riviera – part three of five!

M.

.

Cancun and the Mayan Riviera – part one of five

Ok, kiddies…it’s time for our next trip!

This FAM (familiarization trip) is to the fabulous Cancun and Riviera Maya in Mexico. I was hosted by the wonderful Tropical Incentives DMC (Destination Management Company). WE SAW SO MUCH STUFF, Y’ALL. And, they took such good care of us!

Let’s start with where I went on the planet…

mexico_country_mapCancun is located kinda sorta at the southern end of Mexico…practically South America, I tell you!

I know, I know…my geographic location descriptions are pretty much GPS coordinates.

.

rivieramaya

After flying into Cancun International Airport (CUN), I was taken to the Playa del Carmen area, which is on the Riviera Maya (sounds super fancy, doesn’t it?).

.

I stopped at the Royal Hideaway Playacar before the FAM started for a quick site and overnight stay.

First, dinner with my salesperson host…

royal hideaway 1aScallops with a mole and pear sauce. Yes…I took the picture because the pear sauce looks like a banana missing its hammock. 🙂

.

royal hideaway 1

Room check…friggin’ awesome. Royal Hideaway is scoring some major points.

.

royal hideaway 2Holy crap. They ran me a friggin’ bath that was waiting for me when I got back to my room. This place is ridiculous. I don’t even like baths, but I’m gettin’ in, dammit.

.

Oh, and to the person who thought it would be a good idea to equip your guest rooms with full bowls of Ferrero Rocher candy ball thingys…”Give ’em a crap ton…they’ll never eat all of them!” You clearly do not know what I am capable of, you silly human. Challenge accepted!

.

royal hideaway 3

Lunch time before I leave the resort. Eyes peeled for Sigmund the Sea Monster.

Lunch highlights:

Decided against the octopus burrito for lunch. This time, anyway.

Mexican covers of American songs are fascinating. So far, I’ve experienced ‘Some Like It Hot’ and ‘Don’t Speak’. Fingers crossed for ‘Baby Got Back’ next!

This man’s moobs are disturbing my view of the beach. Someone bring him a support bra, stat!

Royal Hideaway Playacar tended to me wonderfully…they’re nifty!

.

Now, the official Tropical Incentives DMC FAM begins!

Time to head to the Mayakoba area (just a short drive back the way we came from the airport). Mayakoba is a local word for fancy-pantsy-awesome, I’m pretty sure.

.

banyan tree 4

My home for the next three nights…Banyan Tree Mayakoba. Holy guacamole, Batman…prepare yourself for ridiculousness cubed.

.

banyan tree 1

My super sweet flowery check-in bracelet amenity thingy. 🙂

.

banyan tree 2Ok. Now, drink this green stuff.
(for the record, it was quite good)

.

banyan tree 3This is Banyan Tree (I called him BT for short). Of Banyan Tree Mayakoba fame.

.

banyan tree 5

This my door. No entrado unless you use the phone in the box on the left. There’s a panel light on the left that I can light up that says “PRIVACY, DAMMIT”. Ok, it might not say dammit…

.

banyan tree 6

This my courtyard. And my friggin’ private pool. For all that private pooling I need to do. WHAAAT?

.

banyan tree 8This is the lagoon that sits behind my estate…I mean, “room”.

.

banyan tree 12

This my room. Me likey. And, I’ll be hammocking the crap out of that hammock later.

.

banyan tree 9This is my epic bathroom. Everyone has one that looks like this, right?

.

banyan tree 10

Oh, this? A private outdoor flippin’ bathtub. With a wall of candles and whatnot. Like a boss. Where is Ryan Reynolds when I need him??

.

banyan tree 13My headboard could totally kick your headboard’s ass.

.

banyan tree 14Staying in this room is going to be such a hardship.

.

Now, off to dinner and awesomeness at the Now Sapphire Riviera Cancun!

now sapphire 1

The evening’s festivities begin with booze. Nice call, Now Sapphire.

.

now sapphire 2

FIRE! FIRE!

.

now sapphire 3

Not enough? Here’s more fire!

.

now sapphire 4Dinner schminner. Non-dessert is for chumps.

.

now sapphire 5

I will DESTROY your fancy dessert display with my face, Now Sapphire. Fear me!

.

Back to Banyan Tree to sleep off my sugar coma…

banyan tree 14Burnin’ some incense all up in this mo fo before bed.

(it smelled gooood, y’all)

.

I hope you’re enjoying the Riviera Maya journey so far…please head on over to Cancun and the Mayan Riviera – part two of five!

M.

.

A Brief Pause

Apologies for being absent this week (and next week)…my family lost someone very special and I’ll be busy making sure we send him off in the best way possible.

After 96 years on this planet, my grandfather is finally reunited my grandmother…together again. 🙂

Here are a few pictures of one of the most intelligent, well-traveled, kind and wonderful gentlemen that the world had the honor of hosting for a bit…we’ll miss you terribly, Grandpa!

gpa9Always debonair…every man should own a tuxedo. 🙂

.

gpa13On one of their MANY trips…the grandparental units roamed the globe!

.

gpa14Always the adept slayer of the fishes. 🙂

.

gpa3Oh, don’t mind the bad-ass 85-year old in his ski gear…no biggie.

.

gpa12It was always an honor to be your date, Grandpa. 🙂

.

Please give someone you love an extra hug for me and I’ll be back as soon as I can.

Thanks,

M.

.

Sideline – Day of the Dead Photo Shoot

Don’t worry…I have a lovely trip for us to go on next. 🙂

Until then, as referenced on my “About” page…this is one of those random photo shoots.

.

I’m guessing that some context will help make this a little less weird. Not much less weird, but a little, anyway…

About five years ago, I became intrigued with pin up style and started acquiring vintage inspired and vintage reproduction clothing. I felt like finally, I was wearing clothing that made me look non-traditionally pretty and made me stand out (in the good way, not the crazy way). This was HUGE for me…what with me being one of the only women in the world who felt self-conscious about herself. <—– that’s sarcasm, by the way

I found a few companies who made items that I loved and through the Facebook page of one of those companies, I found a community of amazing ladies who were fans just like me. Five years later, I have some of the most wonderful friends and they live all over the planet…all while looking ridiculously gorgeous and stuff.

Soooo…at some point, I decided, “I think I want to do a pin up photo shoot, but not in underwear…is that even allowed? Are there laws about this kind of stuff?”. Turns out, there are not laws against doing pin up photo shoots in something other than underwear or bathing suits…who knew?

Through one of my new friends, I met a photographer named Alica with Scarlett Peacock Photography. She had taken kick-ass pictures of some of the ladies I knew and I requested that she make me look all fancy and crap. She said she would be happy to and I was thrilled!

Alica calls me a few days before our scheduled shoot and says, “Hey, can you do a second shoot the day before? I have an idea for a Day of the Dead pin up style themed shoot and I want to practice on you.”. I thought about it for three whole seconds and said, “Ummm…HELL to the yes!”. I mean, come on, people…how do you say no when someone wants to paint your face like a skull and take pictures of it?? You just can’t. In fact, I’m pretty sure there’s a law against not doing it. And, I am not a law-breaker (as far as you know).

The photo set below is the result of that idea. I hope you enjoy them.

.

fenceThis is actually how I show up to most client meetings.

.

under flag

I am NOT creepy. YOU are.

.

wall 1All I did was look at the wall and the plaster fell off.

.

cactusSee? Still not creepy.

.

doorwayBeing a skeleton in a pin up dress is exhausting. I need help standing up.

.

silly faceWHAT did you just say about your bone?

Yep…this post has been tagged with the word “bone”. Because I’m classy, that’s why.

.

After our photo shoot, we had dinner in the same area. I posted this on Facebook shortly after…

People keep staring at me. Whatsamatta? You’ve never seen a chick with a skull face and a pink party dress eating Chile Colorado before?

.

My favorite story of the evening…sitting in full skull face makeup at dinner post photo shoot with three strikingly beautiful ladies…a man in his 60’s walks up, looks at all of us and yells, “YOU WANNA GO ON A DATE??”. The sheer volume of his voice made one young lady jump in her chair. We laugh and look puzzled and then he zeroes in on me. He says, “You look really good!”. I say thank you while trying to not giggle with my ridiculous skull face. Then, he busts out with, “I just got here from out-of-town and I’m with my friends…will you come into the bar with me and tell them you’re my girlfriend???”. I say no, thank you and he puts the cherry on top with, “It’ll only take a few minutes…I’LL PAY YOU 20 DOLLARS!” The ladies all look at me, like, ‘Well…it is good money…” I decided that if I went with him, I might not have come back, so bottom line…I missed out on 20 bucks.

.

Thank you for joining me and stay tuned for the next adventure!

M.

.