Cancun and the Mayan Riviera – part three of five

More with the Cancun and the Mayan Riviera! 🙂

If you missed part two, head on over to Cancun and the Mayan Riviera – part two of five!

.

Today, we start with breakfast and a site visit at the lovely Fairmont Mayakoba

.

fairmont mayakoba 2Breakfast includes strawberry watermelon juice, Mexican hot chocolate and caramel bread pudding. Kids, sugar is bad…m’kay?
.

fairmont mayakoba 1

This place is awfully pretty.

And, it reminds me that I need to hire some rowboat dudes to clean my moat!

.

fairmont mayakoba 3Ahhh…this scene would be so much more complete with a frosty beverage and a cabana boy…

.

fairmont mayakoba 4Everyone needs a dock next to their pool…for boat launches and stuff.

.

fairmont mayakoba 7Ummm…this suite is two stories AND it has a hot tub on the roof with a view of the ocean. Who would possibly want that??

.

fairmont mayakoba 8Awww…this suite only has a private pool ON THE BEACH. Such suffering!

.

fairmont mayakoba 9This handsome hunk asked me out. I told him I’d think about it since he looked a little handsy.

.

Learnin’ me some important Spanish on this trip…”Mi gato es un puta barata.” Baahaahaa!

* New edit: thanks to one of my awesome readers bringing an oversight to my attention, this post has now been tagged with the words “puta barata”. Because we’re classy like that.

.

After a brief rest back at Banyan Tree, we’re off to a secret dinner location!

.

rio secreto 1Ooohhh…this trail looks promising and super friggin’ beautiful!

.

rio secreto 2A Mayan priest and an altar for blessing us before we enter a cave…this is getting interesting!

.

rio secreto 4Heading down candlelit steps…

.

rio secreto 6Ummm…whaaat??

.

rio secreto 18Holy underground, Batman! Welcome to the amazingly stunning Rio Secreto!

.

rio secreto 5Look! They provided me with dates!

Their names were Bob and Stan, I’m pretty sure.

.

rio secreto 14Yes…of course this happened.

.

rio secreto 19

ARE YOU FRIGGIN’ KIDDING ME?? This was our dinner location. The ridiculously awesome Tropical Incentives DMC hauled everything down there for us. Full bar, buffet dinner, flippin’ ginormous candelabras, colored lights everywhere, a band and a fricken’ Mexican Michael Buble to serenade us. It was beyond unbelievable!

.

After that once-in-a-lifetime dinner, I need to rest…

banyan tree 28…right after I drink all of these tequilas they left in my room.

.

I hope you’re still enjoying the Cancun and the Mayan Riviera journey…stay tuned for part four of five!

M.

.

Cancun and the Mayan Riviera – part two of five

How about some more super cool Cancun and Mayan Riviera action with our wonderful hosts, Tropical Incentives DMC (Destination Management Company)?

If you missed part one, head on over to Cancun and the Mayan Riviera – part one of five!

.

First on the agenda…breakfast and a site tour of our wonderful host property, Banyan Tree Mayakoba!

banyan tree 15

I will destroy it all with my face.

.

Our waiter just asked if my hot chocolate was warm enough…would I like him to heat it up? No, but will you come home to live with me and ask me that daily, please?

‘Grandma’s Hot Chocolate’ is the bombski, BTW.

Get here immediately and drink at least a gallon.

.

banyan tree 16

This boardroom has an entire wall filled with wine. How does any work ever get done in here, people??

.

banyan tree 17

Even the corridors to the meeting space are all striking and majestic, dammit.

.

banyan tree 18

Couples massage room – check. All massages begin with a 20 minute Thai foot washing ritual. I tried it. It was friggin’ outstanding.

.

banyan tree 19

They’re taking us down to check out the Beach Club. In a boat. Dang.

.

banyan tree 20

This is my new iguana boyfriend. I call him Eduardo. He likes to hang out on rocks and act like a bad ass.

.

banyan tree 21

In case you were wondering…cruising lagoons through mangrove trees in a beautiful boat while your captain gives you a guided tour…it does not suck.

.

banyan tree 23

Time to check out some killer suites that sit on the beach. I suppose this private pool will have to do.

.

banyan tree 26

I found out after I tried to climb in and pop the champagne that this was only for display. Our salesperson/guide did not appreciate by particular appreciation of their fancy-pants romantical setup.

I decided that, at the very least, I deserved one of those chocolate covered strawberries for the mental trauma they inflicted on me by not flying Ryan Reynolds in to “appreciate” it with me.

.

Now, over to Barcelo Costa Cancun for a fun team building activity and lunch!

.

barcelo 1

That ocean was warm and delightful. And, a whole dollar came floating up to me while I was splashing around out there. Hot diggity doo!

.

barcelo m

Say hello to my new girlfriend, Zelda. She’s stacked.

.

barcelo

So, we did a goofy team building activity that culminated in us being surprised by a group of homeless children who attend a wonderful school near here. We gave them buckets of toys and they were unbelievably adorable and so sweet. The little girl I handed my toys to was at the back and she was being overlooked. She handed me this candy with an attached note card she made herself. Anyone who has EVER gotten a note or card from me knows that this exact happy face follows my name when I sign things. I thought that coincidence was kind of amazing. And, it made me blubber like an idiot.

.

Back to the resort for a little rest before another action-packed day…

.

banyan tree 27

Man! The walk-in closet in my room is stocked with all the essentials! Bug spray…candle…matches…and a discrete, yet adorable, bag containing one ladybidness pad and a condom. If I’d also found emergency cake in there, I would have married that damn closet.

.

I hope you’re still enjoying the Cancun and the Mayan Riviera journey…please head on over to Cancun and the Mayan Riviera – part three of five!

M.

.

Cancun and the Mayan Riviera – part one of five

Ok, kiddies…it’s time for our next trip!

This FAM (familiarization trip) is to the fabulous Cancun and Riviera Maya in Mexico. I was hosted by the wonderful Tropical Incentives DMC (Destination Management Company). WE SAW SO MUCH STUFF, Y’ALL. And, they took such good care of us!

Let’s start with where I went on the planet…

mexico_country_mapCancun is located kinda sorta at the southern end of Mexico…practically South America, I tell you!

I know, I know…my geographic location descriptions are pretty much GPS coordinates.

.

rivieramaya

After flying into Cancun International Airport (CUN), I was taken to the Playa del Carmen area, which is on the Riviera Maya (sounds super fancy, doesn’t it?).

.

I stopped at the Royal Hideaway Playacar before the FAM started for a quick site and overnight stay.

First, dinner with my salesperson host…

royal hideaway 1aScallops with a mole and pear sauce. Yes…I took the picture because the pear sauce looks like a banana missing its hammock. 🙂

.

royal hideaway 1

Room check…friggin’ awesome. Royal Hideaway is scoring some major points.

.

royal hideaway 2Holy crap. They ran me a friggin’ bath that was waiting for me when I got back to my room. This place is ridiculous. I don’t even like baths, but I’m gettin’ in, dammit.

.

Oh, and to the person who thought it would be a good idea to equip your guest rooms with full bowls of Ferrero Rocher candy ball thingys…”Give ’em a crap ton…they’ll never eat all of them!” You clearly do not know what I am capable of, you silly human. Challenge accepted!

.

royal hideaway 3

Lunch time before I leave the resort. Eyes peeled for Sigmund the Sea Monster.

Lunch highlights:

Decided against the octopus burrito for lunch. This time, anyway.

Mexican covers of American songs are fascinating. So far, I’ve experienced ‘Some Like It Hot’ and ‘Don’t Speak’. Fingers crossed for ‘Baby Got Back’ next!

This man’s moobs are disturbing my view of the beach. Someone bring him a support bra, stat!

Royal Hideaway Playacar tended to me wonderfully…they’re nifty!

.

Now, the official Tropical Incentives DMC FAM begins!

Time to head to the Mayakoba area (just a short drive back the way we came from the airport). Mayakoba is a local word for fancy-pantsy-awesome, I’m pretty sure.

.

banyan tree 4

My home for the next three nights…Banyan Tree Mayakoba. Holy guacamole, Batman…prepare yourself for ridiculousness cubed.

.

banyan tree 1

My super sweet flowery check-in bracelet amenity thingy. 🙂

.

banyan tree 2Ok. Now, drink this green stuff.
(for the record, it was quite good)

.

banyan tree 3This is Banyan Tree (I called him BT for short). Of Banyan Tree Mayakoba fame.

.

banyan tree 5

This my door. No entrado unless you use the phone in the box on the left. There’s a panel light on the left that I can light up that says “PRIVACY, DAMMIT”. Ok, it might not say dammit…

.

banyan tree 6

This my courtyard. And my friggin’ private pool. For all that private pooling I need to do. WHAAAT?

.

banyan tree 8This is the lagoon that sits behind my estate…I mean, “room”.

.

banyan tree 12

This my room. Me likey. And, I’ll be hammocking the crap out of that hammock later.

.

banyan tree 9This is my epic bathroom. Everyone has one that looks like this, right?

.

banyan tree 10

Oh, this? A private outdoor flippin’ bathtub. With a wall of candles and whatnot. Like a boss. Where is Ryan Reynolds when I need him??

.

banyan tree 13My headboard could totally kick your headboard’s ass.

.

banyan tree 14Staying in this room is going to be such a hardship.

.

Now, off to dinner and awesomeness at the Now Sapphire Riviera Cancun!

now sapphire 1

The evening’s festivities begin with booze. Nice call, Now Sapphire.

.

now sapphire 2

FIRE! FIRE!

.

now sapphire 3

Not enough? Here’s more fire!

.

now sapphire 4Dinner schminner. Non-dessert is for chumps.

.

now sapphire 5

I will DESTROY your fancy dessert display with my face, Now Sapphire. Fear me!

.

Back to Banyan Tree to sleep off my sugar coma…

banyan tree 14Burnin’ some incense all up in this mo fo before bed.

(it smelled gooood, y’all)

.

I hope you’re enjoying the Riviera Maya journey so far…please head on over to Cancun and the Mayan Riviera – part two of five!

M.

.

Bora Bora – part four of four

And, now…the final chapter in our wonderous Bora Bora story!

If you missed part three, head on over to Bora Bora – part three of four!

.

Important side note: the people of the French Polynesian islands are some of the most kind, genuine and grounded individuals that I’ve ever met. Their calm and giving manner is refreshing and soothing. They kinda rule hard style and you need to meet some of them. I insist.

.

Today, we’re gonna learn some Polynesian crafts…like many ways to to tie the pareos (Tahitian sarongs) they gave us, stuff with coconuts (karate chop!), how to make flower crowns and basket weaving. I’ma ask ’em if we can learn the basket weaving underwater…so, I can feel like I’m back in college with an undeclared major and my dad is giving me a hard time.

.

pearl beach 27Time to learn how to tie a pareo (sarong)!

.

pearl beach 28Now, we learn how to weave a purse. Mine started out well…

.

pearl beach 29Still looking good…

.

pearl beach 30Crap. What in the hell happened?? Abort operation! Abort! Abort!

.

pearl beach 31Oh, thank goodness. Our awesome instructor, Alicia, came over and saved me from imminent disaster. Here’s my sporty new purse! (that I totally didn’t make)

.

pearl beach 32Anyone want to try peeling a coconut? Meee! Meee!

(Let’s just say that I did NOT excel at this task)

.

pearl beach 33Drinkin’ out of a coconut…all Gilligan’s Island style and stuff.

.

pearl beach 34Now, we observe the makin’ of the coconut milk with sheer brute strength…swoon!

.

pearl beach 35These lovely ladies were so patient…now, they’re teaching us how to make flower crowns!

.

pearl beach 36Off to a slightly pitiful start…

.

pearl beach 37I just shoved it in my hair and hoped for the best.

.

At this point…let’s flash back to my mention in part two about the spa having a Polynesian dude tattoo artist on staff. Guess who decided to get a tattoo, y’all??

My memory of the experience:

Listening to an island cover of Air Supply’s ‘Making Love Out of Nothing at All’ while laying on a table getting tattooed by a hot Polynesian dude at a spa with a koi fish lagoon outside the window is beyond nuts. Once again, my life is ridiculous.

.

tuhei and mTuhei, my super cute tattoo artist, did an awesome job on my new tiare flower. The fact that he was probably no older than 22 and didn’t speak much English just made him even more adorable.

.

Now, for our evening plans…

Being picked up by a private boat for a ‘surprise’ farewell reception and dinner off-property…I can’t wait to see what this business is all about.

.

closing night 1

Holy crap on a stick. This was our fricken’ ride.

.

closing night 2

Heading off to the surprise location on a killer catamaran…

.

closing night 4Our wonderful hostess on the catamaran…she made us cookies and breads and fruity tropical beverages. And fruit. With flowers. I wanted to take her home with me.

.

boat rideThen, she taught us cool stuff about the island. It was awesome!

.

closing night 5Rainbow. Because this place isn’t quite delightful enough already.

.

closing night 6Our chariot…picking us up from the catamaran for our evening adventure!

.

closing night 7THIS is our dinner location. A private bloody island. Dang!

.

closing night 8Our ride…he was hilarious and knew how to blow a mean conch shell.

.

closing night 9This is a horrible picture, but the gentlemen and ladies were all waiting on the dock for our arrival!

.

closing night 10Ahhh…sunset through the trees on the island.

.

closing night 11Our chef was so flippin’ funny!

.

m and patrickI totally took a picture with the Big Kahuna of Bora Bora.

.

closing night 13Time for some traditional Polynesian dancing. There was much grunting and stomping.

.

closing night 14Tahitian lady dancers…so pretty!

.

closing night 15Now, for the ‘remove your pareo and swing it around’ song. Butts! 🙂

.

closing night 16Coconut bra time!

.

closing night 17My dinner was ridonkulous.

.

closing night 18Fire dancing time!! Eeeeeee!!

.

closing night 19Wheeee! Fire!!

.

closing night 20More fire and spinning and wheee!!

.

closing night 21This one was a crazy formation of legs wrapped around other legs…it scared the crap out of me!

.

closing night 22Another terrible picture, but they were so amazing!

Oh, and that black mark on Patrick’s stomach? THAT’S WHERE A TORCH OF FIRE FELL ON HIS BELLY. No big whoop.

.

My evening summary went a little something like this:

Brace yourself. Transported via private catamaran to a private motu (island), treated to a feast, boogied with Tahitian dancers in coconut bras (them, not us) and witnessed the coolest fire dancing show ever. Flaming batons thrown by hunky Polynesian dudes – check. Our host was Patrick, from two days ago. I paid no mind to his traditional banana hammock thong & tattooed butt cheeks situation, because that’s totally inappropriate and I would never do something like that.

.

Only one slight ‘issue’ with my trip…

bora 7a

Apparently, Bora Bora bugs dig mostly just me. This is just a portion of the real estate they’ve taken over. The others in my group have maybe 20% of what I’ve got…just lucky, I guess! STILL TOTALLY WORTH IT.

Oh, and bring lots of mosquito repellent!!

.

We’re supposed to depart Bora Bora today, but I think I’ll opt out. The resort won’t mind if I just live in my hut. Although, the new guests might get annoyed when that weird lady keeps yelling, “Hey, you two! Quit all that humpin’! I’m trying to sleep!”

.

patrick at tahiti airport My last sight before leaving these amazing islands…Patrick, himself, in a French Polynesia tourism ad. He’s such a rock star, it’s just silly.

Goodbye Patrick and Bora Bora!!

.

So, here’s what I gathered from this once-in-a-lifetime trip: visiting Bora Bora is something everyone absolutely MUST do before they die. It’s an unparalleled experience that cannot be missed. Going there won’t be cheap, but holy guacamole…it’ll be an expedition filled with wonderful people, stunning scenery and outstanding exploration that you will cherish forever!!

And, one more thing: if you do plan on visiting the crazy phenomenal Bora Bora, you definitely won’t go wrong with Air Tahiti Nui, Bora Bora Pearl Beach Resort & Spa, Patrick with Maohi Nui and Christophe with Reef Discovery Bora Bora. They were all stellar!

I do hope you enjoyed our journey to Bora Bora, and if you have any questions, please do comment or message me! I’m happy to blab even more about my mind-blowing trip, if I can be of any help to you.

.

Thank you so much for joining me and I look forward to our next adventure together!

M.
.

Bora Bora – part three of four

More with the Bora Bora! 🙂

If you missed part two, head on over to Bora Bora – part two of four!

.

christophe's tour 1

Headed out today on a reef discovery tour with a hunky Frenchman named Christophe Poch (don’t worry, you’ll see him later), of Reef Discovery Bora Bora. I approve of the island’s steady supply of hunky tour guys.

.

bloody mary's 1First, a quick stop to take a peek at the World Famous Bloody Mary’s.

.

bloody mary's 2I think I could hang out here…

.

bloody mary's 4Ok, yes. I could definitely hang out here. With a frosty fruity beverage.

.

bloody mary's 6Sweet hairdo, Sir! And, I don’t care what they say, your tongue is not creepy at all.

.

bloody mary's 7Famous guests.

(I’m really hoping that Charlie Sheen and Senator John McCain got drunk together one night on Pina Coladas and Chi-Chis)

.

bloody mary's 8Moar famous guests!

(I’m surprised that they hadn’t painted my name in by the time we left…sheesh!)

.

christophe's tour 2

Apologies for the terrible picture, but we fed bread to a crap ton of beautiful fish.

.

christophe's tour 3

Apologies for another terrible picture, but we fed bread to a crap ton of beautiful fish.

.

fish 1Finally a decent picture of the awesome fish…stolen from one of my colleagues.

.

moray eel 1Christophe coaxed a moray eel out of his cave for a little snack. Holy crap!

.

moray eel 3JUST LOOK AT IT.

.

m and christopheNow, JUST LOOK AT CHRISTOPHE. He was so unattractive, y’all…I just felt sorry for him. And, the French accent…it was just so not sexy at all.

.

christophe's tour 4Not swooning…not…swooning.

.

christophe's tour 5

All joking (or not joking?) aside…Christophe was an excellent tour guide. We saw so much cool stuff and we learned things too! I can’t remember any of them while staring at this picture, but…

.

My highly intellectual summary:

Today, with Christophe the hunky Frenchman (tan, charming, hot, had a big motorboat and even knew stuff about fish!) on our Reef Discovery Tour, we saw the most amazing coral reefs, swam for a good ten minutes with a 6′ wide manta ray (he looked like a space ship and had TWO penises), fed about a bazillion brilliant colored fish and hung out with a humongous 6′-7′ moray eel that reminded me of that space worm that eats star fighters in Star Wars. Bad assery all around.

.

pearl beach 22

Fruity tropical drink with a side shot of fruity tropical drink. With more flowers!

.

pearl beach 23A rare clear shot of the top of the mountain!

(there’s almost always some cloud cover)

.

pearl beach 24

Man. This resort really does NOT suck.

.

pearl beach 25Oh, my wonderful hut…you just get me. I think we should be together forever!

.

pearl beach 26This view NEVER gets old, dammit.

.

I hope you’re still enjoying the Bora Bora journey…please head on over to Bora Bora – part four of four!

M.

.

Bora Bora – part two of four

How about more crazy wonderful Bora Bora?

If you missed part one, head on over to Bora Bora – part one of four!

.

pearl beach 8This is the lagoon that surrounds the resort’s amazing Manea Spa.

.

pearl beach 9This is an outdoor dual treatment area for water massages. I’ve never had an interest in being massaged by water until I saw this. Because…awesome.

.

The spa also has a Polynesian dude tattoo artist on staff! Hmmm…I might have to do something with this information…

.

pearl beach 14Time for dinner in Tevairoa Restaurant and a great Polynesian dance show. I need to have one of these in my living room every night!

.

pearl beach 15My delightful dining companion. I call him Gerald. Ooohhh, girl…I think he’s former military!

(Later that night, I told Gerald I didn’t like him like that. He was crushed.)

.

dancersThe dancers were excellent!

.

pearl beach 16The evening view from my deck did NOT suck.

.

pearl beach 17My fruit plate stowaway, Percy. He was charming AND handsome.

A later evening update: Brandon at the front desk was so terribly patient. I begged him to come and get my fruit plate. Mind you, it’s a good 10 minute walk down a couple of long piers to get to my room. It seems that my arrival fruit plate (which I wrapped back up in cellophane, not knowing) contained a surprise. A white lizard…I called him Percy. Poor Brandon appeased me and took the plate to set Percy free on land. Yep. Brandon definitely thought I was kookoo bananas and poor Percy probably got a swift kick into the water as soon as he left my room.

.

pearl beach 18

Morning coffee table fish feeding time starts now!

.

On the agenda today: a lagoon tour and snorkeling excursion with Patrick Tairua, the owner of Maohi Nui and a Polynesian luncheon feast on his family motu. I just learned that a motu is a private island and I’m very excited. And, I’m not entirely against a good snorkeling…so, whee!

.

patrick's tour 1Heading out on Patrick’s outrigger for adventure time!

.

patrick's tour 2This is the hunky Polynesian Patrick. He’s an awesome bad ass. And, a gentleman. He played the ukulele and sang super sweet islandy stuff to us.

.

patrick's tour 3Swimming with sharks in ridiculously blue water…

.

patrick's tour 5This is me being felt up by a particularly randy sting ray. Don’t worry, I made him buy me dinner first.

.

patrick's tour 6This bird was a little on the smug side with his living in paradise and cruising along the ocean on an outrigger without a care in the world attitude.

.

patrick's tour 10

Time to stop at Patrick’s family motu for lunch! Our table sat in the crystal clear waters of the lagoon. 🙂

.

patrick's tour 11

Oh, don’t mind us…we just get to sit on our asses in the lagoon while we wait for lunch to be served.

.

patrick's tour 7Time to unveil the unbelievable lunch feast that Patrick’s nieces and nephews cooked for us!

.

patrick's tour 8Oooooohhhhhh!

.

patrick's tour 9

Suckling pig, chicken and taro, bread fruit, tapioca root, plantains, pumpkin vanilla poi…it smelled soooo good!

.

patrick's tour 12Fresh pineapple (like none you’ve ever had), pumpkin vanilla poi (not like Hawaiian poi at all – I could have eaten the whole tray), poisson cru (a killer raw fish salad with coconut milk that I ate EVERY DAY), chicken & taro and suckling pig. All served on palm frond and taro leaf plates. Holy crap, that food was delicious!

.

patrick's tour 13These nifty little buggers swam around our legs while we had lunch. We got to feed them leftovers when we were finished. Fishes love pork fat.

.

patrick and m 1This man right here is the fricken’ bomb diggity. You MUST meet him.

.

patrick's tour 14He also has cool tattoos and wears a thong sarong. Woot!

.

patrick and his niecePatrick and his grandniece. Damn, she was cute!

.

patrick's tour 15This little man was sacked OUT! He must have worked hard on our lunch.

.

pearl beach 19Back to the resort to hang by the pool. Life is rough.

.

pearl beach 20Time for more food. And, more flowers!

.

pearl beach 21A night view from the beach to end our day…

.

bora 4a

The resort just sent me four neato vials of different Tahitian wines and a vial of Tahitian sand. I shall do my best to not mix them up when throwing back a vial or two.

.

I hope you’re still enjoying the Bora Bora journey…please head on over to Bora Bora – part three of four!

M.

.

Bora Bora – part one of four

I was given the unbelievably fortunate opportunity to attend a FAM (familiarization trip) with a great group of event managers to Bora Bora. Our crazy awesome adventure was hosted by the outstanding Bora Bora Pearl Beach Resort & Spa, The Leading Hotels of the World and Air Tahiti Nui Airlines.

Because I took SO MANY pictures, I’ll be splitting this trip into four separate posts over the next few weeks.

.

Let’s start at the beginning, shall we?

bora bora on world map

This is where Bora Bora is on the planet…kinda sorta between Los Angeles and Sydney.

.

french polynesian islands

To get to Bora Bora, you need to fly into Papeete Airport in Tahiti first. From Los Angeles, that’ll take roughly 8.5 hours. From Sydney, that’ll take roughly 8 hours. Once you reach Tahiti, you’ll either need to stay overnight (if your flight arrives in the evening) and fly to Bora Bora the next morning, or…if you take a red-eye flight and arrive in Tahiti in the morning, you can fly straight to Bora Bora that same day.

.

We flew into Tahiti from Los Angeles on the outstanding Air Tahiti Nui Airlines. Upon boarding the plane, all passengers were given a beautiful Tiare flower, native to French Polynesia. It smelled amazing and I may have sniffed it frequently for the next 8.5 hours…

tiare flower

 .

Once in Tahiti, we stayed for a quick overnight at the Bora Bora Pearl Beach Resort & Spa’s sister property, the Manava Suite Resort Tahiti.

 .

manava tahiti 1The view from a suite at the Manava…overlooking the infinity pool and the amazing water.

.

manava tahiti 2These are party houseboats…just move them wherever the party needs to be. How cool is that??

.

manava tahiti 3Heh. They said douche.

.

manava tahiti 4The swim-up infinity pool. Somebody make me a drink, dammit!

.

Now, to the Tahiti Faa’a International Airport for our flight to Bora Bora!

.

tahiti airportFrench condom machine…seems classier somehow.

.

bora bora 1Almost to Bora Bora! Squeeee!

.

bora bora 2Best deplaning experience ever. Even the airport has a killer view!

.

bora bora 3This is the public bathroom at the Bora Bora airport…fresh flowers everywhere. I really need to step up my bathroom decor! 

.

bora bora 4They picked us up at the airport in a boat and gave me a ginormous coconut to drink…woot!

.

bora bora 5A little music for the ride…as the handsome General Manager of our resort looks on. He greeted us at the airport like we were fancy or something!

.

bora-bora-hotel-map

We headed to the Bora Bora Pearl Beach Resort & Spa, located on Moto Tevairoa, a mere 10 minute boat ride from the airport!

.pearl beach 1Almost there!!

.

The Bora Bora Pearl Beach Resort & Spa is a part of The Leading Hotels of the World collection and it’s truly stunning!

.

pearl beach 25

THIS WAS MY ROOM, PEOPLE. Whaaat?

(this is classified as one of their Overwater Bungalows)

.

pearl beach 5

The interior was silly awesome too. Wonderful island music playing…ahhh.

.

pearl beach 2LOOK AT MY BED. JUST LOOK AT IT. Fresh flowers everywhere!

.

pearl beach 6

You can’t see it, but there’s water under those glass panels…so’s I could watch the fish while I brushed my teeth, obviously.

.

pearl beach 3

My friggin’ coffee table had a coral nursery under it. Doesn’t everyone’s?

And, my room key was an actual key…with an abalone shell attached to the chain. I loved it.

.

pearl beach 13

Yes. It’s a fish feeding retractable coffee table. Whaat??

.

pearl beach 10My deck was ridonkulous.

.

pearl beach 11

My shower for washing off salt water from lagoon excursions off of my deck. Like I do.

.

pearl beach 12

Just step right down into the 4′ deep water to check out the coral nursery and tons of fish!

.

pearl beach 7

The first of many, many tropical beverages decorated with many, many fresh flowers. 🙂

.

I hope you’re enjoying the Bora Bora journey so far…please head on over to Bora Bora – part two of four!

M.

.