Bora Bora – part three of four

More with the Bora Bora! 🙂

If you missed part two, head on over to Bora Bora – part two of four!

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christophe's tour 1

Headed out today on a reef discovery tour with a hunky Frenchman named Christophe Poch (don’t worry, you’ll see him later), of Reef Discovery Bora Bora. I approve of the island’s steady supply of hunky tour guys.

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bloody mary's 1First, a quick stop to take a peek at the World Famous Bloody Mary’s.

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bloody mary's 2I think I could hang out here…

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bloody mary's 4Ok, yes. I could definitely hang out here. With a frosty fruity beverage.

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bloody mary's 6Sweet hairdo, Sir! And, I don’t care what they say, your tongue is not creepy at all.

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bloody mary's 7Famous guests.

(I’m really hoping that Charlie Sheen and Senator John McCain got drunk together one night on Pina Coladas and Chi-Chis)

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bloody mary's 8Moar famous guests!

(I’m surprised that they hadn’t painted my name in by the time we left…sheesh!)

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christophe's tour 2

Apologies for the terrible picture, but we fed bread to a crap ton of beautiful fish.

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christophe's tour 3

Apologies for another terrible picture, but we fed bread to a crap ton of beautiful fish.

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fish 1Finally a decent picture of the awesome fish…stolen from one of my colleagues.

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moray eel 1Christophe coaxed a moray eel out of his cave for a little snack. Holy crap!

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moray eel 3JUST LOOK AT IT.

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m and christopheNow, JUST LOOK AT CHRISTOPHE. He was so unattractive, y’all…I just felt sorry for him. And, the French accent…it was just so not sexy at all.

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christophe's tour 4Not swooning…not…swooning.

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christophe's tour 5

All joking (or not joking?) aside…Christophe was an excellent tour guide. We saw so much cool stuff and we learned things too! I can’t remember any of them while staring at this picture, but…

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My highly intellectual summary:

Today, with Christophe the hunky Frenchman (tan, charming, hot, had a big motorboat and even knew stuff about fish!) on our Reef Discovery Tour, we saw the most amazing coral reefs, swam for a good ten minutes with a 6′ wide manta ray (he looked like a space ship and had TWO penises), fed about a bazillion brilliant colored fish and hung out with a humongous 6′-7′ moray eel that reminded me of that space worm that eats star fighters in Star Wars. Bad assery all around.

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pearl beach 22

Fruity tropical drink with a side shot of fruity tropical drink. With more flowers!

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pearl beach 23A rare clear shot of the top of the mountain!

(there’s almost always some cloud cover)

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pearl beach 24

Man. This resort really does NOT suck.

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pearl beach 25Oh, my wonderful hut…you just get me. I think we should be together forever!

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pearl beach 26This view NEVER gets old, dammit.

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I hope you’re still enjoying the Bora Bora journey…please head on over to Bora Bora – part four of four!

M.

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Bora Bora – part two of four

How about more crazy wonderful Bora Bora?

If you missed part one, head on over to Bora Bora – part one of four!

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pearl beach 8This is the lagoon that surrounds the resort’s amazing Manea Spa.

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pearl beach 9This is an outdoor dual treatment area for water massages. I’ve never had an interest in being massaged by water until I saw this. Because…awesome.

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The spa also has a Polynesian dude tattoo artist on staff! Hmmm…I might have to do something with this information…

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pearl beach 14Time for dinner in Tevairoa Restaurant and a great Polynesian dance show. I need to have one of these in my living room every night!

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pearl beach 15My delightful dining companion. I call him Gerald. Ooohhh, girl…I think he’s former military!

(Later that night, I told Gerald I didn’t like him like that. He was crushed.)

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dancersThe dancers were excellent!

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pearl beach 16The evening view from my deck did NOT suck.

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pearl beach 17My fruit plate stowaway, Percy. He was charming AND handsome.

A later evening update: Brandon at the front desk was so terribly patient. I begged him to come and get my fruit plate. Mind you, it’s a good 10 minute walk down a couple of long piers to get to my room. It seems that my arrival fruit plate (which I wrapped back up in cellophane, not knowing) contained a surprise. A white lizard…I called him Percy. Poor Brandon appeased me and took the plate to set Percy free on land. Yep. Brandon definitely thought I was kookoo bananas and poor Percy probably got a swift kick into the water as soon as he left my room.

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pearl beach 18

Morning coffee table fish feeding time starts now!

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On the agenda today: a lagoon tour and snorkeling excursion with Patrick Tairua, the owner of Maohi Nui and a Polynesian luncheon feast on his family motu. I just learned that a motu is a private island and I’m very excited. And, I’m not entirely against a good snorkeling…so, whee!

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patrick's tour 1Heading out on Patrick’s outrigger for adventure time!

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patrick's tour 2This is the hunky Polynesian Patrick. He’s an awesome bad ass. And, a gentleman. He played the ukulele and sang super sweet islandy stuff to us.

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patrick's tour 3Swimming with sharks in ridiculously blue water…

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patrick's tour 5This is me being felt up by a particularly randy sting ray. Don’t worry, I made him buy me dinner first.

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patrick's tour 6This bird was a little on the smug side with his living in paradise and cruising along the ocean on an outrigger without a care in the world attitude.

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patrick's tour 10

Time to stop at Patrick’s family motu for lunch! Our table sat in the crystal clear waters of the lagoon. 🙂

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patrick's tour 11

Oh, don’t mind us…we just get to sit on our asses in the lagoon while we wait for lunch to be served.

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patrick's tour 7Time to unveil the unbelievable lunch feast that Patrick’s nieces and nephews cooked for us!

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patrick's tour 8Oooooohhhhhh!

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patrick's tour 9

Suckling pig, chicken and taro, bread fruit, tapioca root, plantains, pumpkin vanilla poi…it smelled soooo good!

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patrick's tour 12Fresh pineapple (like none you’ve ever had), pumpkin vanilla poi (not like Hawaiian poi at all – I could have eaten the whole tray), poisson cru (a killer raw fish salad with coconut milk that I ate EVERY DAY), chicken & taro and suckling pig. All served on palm frond and taro leaf plates. Holy crap, that food was delicious!

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patrick's tour 13These nifty little buggers swam around our legs while we had lunch. We got to feed them leftovers when we were finished. Fishes love pork fat.

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patrick and m 1This man right here is the fricken’ bomb diggity. You MUST meet him.

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patrick's tour 14He also has cool tattoos and wears a thong sarong. Woot!

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patrick and his niecePatrick and his grandniece. Damn, she was cute!

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patrick's tour 15This little man was sacked OUT! He must have worked hard on our lunch.

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pearl beach 19Back to the resort to hang by the pool. Life is rough.

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pearl beach 20Time for more food. And, more flowers!

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pearl beach 21A night view from the beach to end our day…

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bora 4a

The resort just sent me four neato vials of different Tahitian wines and a vial of Tahitian sand. I shall do my best to not mix them up when throwing back a vial or two.

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I hope you’re still enjoying the Bora Bora journey…please head on over to Bora Bora – part three of four!

M.

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